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NEVER MIND THE BUZZINESS, FEEL THE CLICHÉ - RF Cafe Forums
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nubbage |
Post subject: NEVER MIND THE BUZZINESS, FEEL THE CLICHÉ
Posted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 11:04 am
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General |
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Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2006 12:07 pm Posts: 365
Location: London UK |
I imagine we have all done it: been part of a secret society that believes we can sneer
at techno-babble that is taught in business management and sales training courses. After
compiling a secret list in meetings where they are flying like leaves in the fall, we
meet afterwards together for a good laugh.
I have some favourites but as most
of these buzzy expressions originate from the States, I am sure yorl out there can do
better.
AGNOSTIC with no particular conviction one way or the other DETERMINISTIC
ELEMENTS factors that effect decisions DRAW A LINE UNDER THIS forget this foul up,
and concentrate on our potential for success DRIVEN BY LOW ENTRY BARRIERS encouraged
because it is cheap to invest in EMERGING TECHNOLOGIES some freaky new gizmos with
ENHANCED FUNCTIONALITY (qv) ENHANCED slightly modified eg color scheme EVERGREEN
future proof FEATURE-RICH it can do lots of things you probably don’t want to do
FIRST IN BREED see “Taken a leadership Position” FUNCTIONALITY what it does, what
it is capable of GATING THE ROLL-OUT controlling the gradual issue of an OFFERING
INSTALLED BASE default configuration IS KEY is of prime importance LEGACY SYSTEM
now obsolete, but was the super wiz-bang stuff we sold you last year LEVERAGED your
investment is small, but uses others to raise it to the requisite level MAPPED ONTO
incorporated or integrated into something MAKE IT CLEAR “journalese” for what politicians
do (eg lying, obfuscating periphrastically) MISSION STATEMENT broad policy objectives
jazzed up as a one-liner MISSION-CRITICAL reliability “IS KEY” (qv) (TO) OWN to
be responsible for OFFERING product or service PARADIGM a philosophy or set of
processes PLATFORM basic means for carrying out a task PLAYERS people or organisations
involved ****-READY expected soon to be compatible with **** Like HDTV-Ready,
Oven-Ready etc ****-OF CHOICE the **** that is preferred by most organisations (eg
cliché of choice) PORTFOLIO sounds buzzier than “list” PROCESS business activity
with a specific objective or task RE-POSITIONING we goofed on the last OFFERINGS,
but this might work ROAD MAP a series of evolutionary steps ROLLOUT gradual introduction
of a PROCESS to get the bugs out STRATEGIC FIT conformity with management planning
STRUCTURED arranged or put together in a logical way SUPPORTING providing FUNCTIONALITY,
working with something TAKEN A LEADERSHIP POSITION We are ahead of most competitors
(but not all) WAY FORWARD how we get out of this mess SUPPORTS AN ALTERNATIVE
UNCTIONALITY we are not compliant to your specification, but offer something else you
might like instead
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Kirt Blattenberger |
Post subject:
Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 8:47 am
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Site Admin |
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Joined: Sun Aug 03, 2003 2:02 pm Posts: 878
Location: Erie, PA |
Greetings nubbage:
What a great list! That such terms are so commonly mocked
and appear regularly in the Dilbert comic strip is evidence enough of their ineffectiveness
except for with those who preach them. Inclusion of those words and phrases in presentations
and discussions often requires the speaker to be a verbal contortionist that often fails
in his/her attempt to make the things fit into a sentence. It is as betraying of a sign
of business geekdom to the utterer as is masking tape on the nose bridge of glasses
the sign of a science nerd.
_________________ - Kirt Blattenberger
RF Cafe Progenitor & Webmaster
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kpainter
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Post subject:
Posted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 3:31 pm
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General |
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Joined: Wed Aug 20, 2003 11:47 am Posts: 118
Location: Santa Barbara, CA |
nubbage, armed with a great list such as yours, you are ready to play "Bull$hit
Bingo"!! It is a lot of fun. You take a small sampling of the list and as you are sitting
through your next boring meeting, you can while away the time listening for those magic
words to fly by. Cross them off as you hear them. The first player to cross off all
the words on the list is to stand up and yell "Bull$hit Bingo!". What keeps everyone
else playing from reaching a Bingo at the same time is that some, if not all, of the
players will have fallen sound asleep.
Of course, if
you don't want to commit such a CLM (Career Limiting Move), you can agree that a sign
(such as an uncontrollable itchy nose) will suffice as the BS Bingo yell to tell all
the other players that the game is over and you have won!
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Posted 11/12/2012
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